Spiritual Abuse

Even after all the information I dug up, even after all the contradictions and proof-texts, fear [of Hell] would sometimes rear its ugly head. I agreed to go with my husband to talk to our pastor. He was to explain Daniel 9 to me. I wanted to keep an open mind. Truth would prevail.

The day of the meeting, we walked into his office. I sat down. I expected the pastor to show me how the 70 weeks added up to point to Jesus. I figured I’d see him with some paper, a pencil, maybe a calculator No. Instead, the first thing out of his mouth was,

“WHO ARE YOU?”

He didn’t really yell, but he definitely said it sternly. I was taken aback. I looked at him confused.

“What? Are you a Jew now?” He continued.

“Yep!” I said. I felt I was being treated as a troubled teen with a drug problem. He was Dr. Phil – trying to shame me into return.

He did not have much to say about Daniel 9. Turns out, he wasn’t well informed of it himself. He did have a small chart which neither he nor I understood. I told him about the translation issues and other things which I did not go into in my previous post. If you are interested check out Tovia Singer’s teaching on it.

I explained some of the issues I had with the New Testament and what the Hebrew Scriptures actually taught. I questioned him on the book of Ezekiel.

“Why does Ezekiel say that during the Third Temple there will be sin sacrifices?”

He was unaware of such a passage.

I quoted scripture. I got emotional. I sobbed as I paraphrased texts such as Isaiah 56:3-5.

Let not the foreigner who has joined himself to the Lord say, “The Lord will surely separate me from his people”; and let not the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.”  For thus says the Lord: “To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.

He told me I was going down the wrong path. Somehow, he we was able to ignore verses that clearly show the Torah is forever, it WILL be kept at the end of days, and there is no mentioning of calling upon the name of another god-man-messiah.

“Did you know God actually had a name? It is Yahweh.” He had my paper in his possession which spelled out the following verses:

Deuteronomy 4:39, “Yahweh, He is God in heaven above and on the earth below; there is no other.”

Deuteronomy 32:39, “See now that I am he and no god is with (or beside) me.”

1 Chronicles 17:20, “O Lord, there is none like you, nor is there any God beside you.”

Psalm 86:10, “For you are great, and do wondrous things; you are God alone.

Isaiah 42:8, “I am Yahweh, that is my name. My glory will I not give to another, nor my praise to carved idols.”

Isaiah 43:10, “Before me there was no God formed, and there will be none after me. I, even I am Yahweh and beside me there is no savior.”

Isaiah 44:6, “I am the first and I am the last, and besides me there is no god.”

Isaiah 44:24, “Thus says Yahweh, your Redeemer, who formed you from the womb: “I am Yahweh, who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself.”

Isaiah 45:21, “Is it not I, Yahweh? And there is no other God besides me, a righteous God and a savior; there is none except me.”

Joel 2:32, “And it shall come to pass anyone who shall call on the name of Yahweh shall be saved.”

Zechariah 14:9, “And Yahweh will be king over all the earth; in that day the Yahweh will be the only one, and His name the only one.”

Deuteronomy 6:4, Hear O’ Israel, Yehovah your God, Yehovah is one.”

I cried and cried with frustration and anger as he clearly did not care about anything I had to say. He asked, “Are you saying Jesus was a blasphemer?”

“No.” I responded. I was too afraid to call my former savior such a harsh term. “Based on how the writers of the New Testament handled the Hebrew Scriptures, I don’t know what Jesus said and what he didn’t say.”

And after an hour or so, I had had enough. I stood to my feet to leave.

Pastor pulled me back down to my chair.

“No, this is good. Your crying is good. It shows your need for Jesus.”

I can’t believe I stayed. Why did I stay? Why did I take the abuse?

He went on, “Now your history is making sense. You never were a believer. That’s why you’ve had all those panic attacks.”

Like a woman who stays with her abuser. I stayed and took more punches.

I still have the bruises.

Pastor loaned me a book which goes through all the New Testament quotes from the Old Testament. I thought I’d give it a shot. I took the book – ready to get out of there.

Later that night I looked at the book – a useless waste of ink and paper. It may no attempt to explain why the writers changed the text. I bet the author wasn’t even aware.

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