One reason I accepted Calvinism for a time was because I knew I did not make a conscious choice to be a Christian. I knew that when I walked the aisle and prayed the prayer, that did not grant me salvation. Sometime later, I became a true believer. When that was, no one knows. I simply believed. There was no date, place, and time which could be stamped with my saying, “Yes! I WILL believe.” To me, nothing else could explain my belief except it being supernatural.
My disbelief was not something I aimed for. I did not wake up one day and say, “Hey, let’s see if I can become a non-believer. What fun!” I studied the Scriptures as any good Christian girl should. I let the Scriptures speak for themselves. And I saw problems.
Did I have a choice to believe it anyway? I don’t think so. Do I have a choice in believing in Santa Claus? No. I know he is not real. I cannot make myself believe in him again. Oh, would it not be lovely to believe in a jolly old man who brings gifts once a year? You bet! But I know that no matter how much faith I muster up to believe, there is no man coming from the North Pole to bring me toys.
I guess I could have chosen to ignore certain information. But who wants to live like that? Not me.